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Monday, October 2, 2017

Staying Calm Through the Storm

Dear wonderful followers:

This month I want to switch directions on what I typically post and get a little more personal.

I had an opportunity to speak at a conference this month on the topic of leading yourself.  In order to lead others you must know how to lead yourself.  The reason this particular topic was so near and dear to my heart is because the last few months have been really tough for me emotionally and mentally.  I am a strong person, but even the strongest people have weak moments.  So after having a brief emotional breakdown and letting my emotions flow, I knew something need to change.  Please understand that I am not the type of person who cries a lot so when I do that tells me I need to stop for a moment and reflect.  It doesn't mean the I don't have emotions is just means that I display my emotions differently.  And that difference is okay. because I struggled with that as well.

I started my journey of healing by doing some self reflection, and introspection, the last few months.  You may ask, what is the different between self reflection and self introspection?  The way I define these two terms, and have in my life are as follows:

  • Self reflection is where I just reflect on my behaviors and the events that have led up to where I am currently.  
  • Self introspection is where I go deep internally to identify the struggles that have lead to those behaviors, in addition to the root cause.  Eventually I will come up with a plan on how to change, if I don't like the result, or continue on if I do like the result. 
As we all experience, life throws curve balls whether we are ready or not.  Essentially, after doing this reflection, it came to my attention that there were some issues internally I thought I had dealt with that I still needed to deal with.  You see, I'm known to be the strong one by many.  I am also a very giving person.  I give genuinely without expecting anything in return.  I give of my time and resources because I truly have a desire to help others.  However, when you are the strong one and when you cherish, and are extremely loyal to, friendships and relationships it does take a lot from you if you are not careful.  I have no problem with people pulling on me, but I also need deposits because I am human as well.  It can be a lonely space sometimes when you are the strongest person.  You tend to forget to take care of yourself, and others feel you always have it together.  Sometimes you don't even realize it.

However, as I went through this journey and saw the devastation with Hurricane Harvey in Texas and Hurricane Irma in Florida.  In addition, to the earthquake in Mexico and the terrorist attack in London, it put things in perspective for me.  It didn't take me away from the self reflection and introspection exercise, but it did make me appreciative of what I have and those around me.  You see when you go through storms in life there is always something there to bring that calm to the storm if you just take a moment to be silent and reflect.  The situation you are going through is still VERY real, however, when you put it in perspective of what it could have been it can help you make it through.

Going through the process can be really hard, but staying calm through the storm is therapuetic,  For those who are close to you be vulnerable with them.  At the end in order to be the best you, you have to be honest and authentic with yourself.  You have to take time to take care of yourself.  You have to identify those things that are hindering you from being the best version of you possible.  You have to take the good with the bad.  The things you like about yourself continue doing and build on it.  The things you don't like determine why and change it.  Through it all stay centered and calm.  The calmness brings clarity.  The clarity brings understanding.  The understanding brings solutions.

Take time to reflect and introspect.  This is a continuous process so don't stop doing self introspection and reflection.  It keeps you grounded and true to yourself.  Just remember find those calm moments in the storm to help you get through.  It may be hard, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, though it may not feel like it going through it.

Signing off,
The BA Martial Artist

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